We Woke Up Like This

As most of my followers and fans know, I have built my portfolio based on being a body-positive curve model. While to many it seems like it may seem like a bold avenue to take and one that steps just aside of the mainstream, it has been the most fulfilling path I could have chosen with modeling. Is it easy to see every inch, sometimes cellulite, and stretch marks all over my body? No! But is it what I have? Absolutely and I’m proud of it. 

Too many of us spend years literally or figuratively beating ourselves up because we aren’t living up to the standard that we have accepted from society to be normal. Keyword here is “accepted”. Not only has the media, men, other women, and fashion designers shown us what THEY think the norm should be, we have implanted it into our heads as the only way to be if we want a partner, a promotion, or even love. My heart breaks at this thought, as it is something I also battled with not so long ago. 

You see, when we get caught up in trying to parade a perfect body, with flawless make up, an effortless life, and money to boot, we are leaving out the option to be used by God for a greater purpose. We become so focused on the worlds idea of us that we actually end up losing ourselves in the process. 

I don’t know about you, but I am so tired of seeing what I perceive to be a success goal and running at a breakneck pace to achieve it. It’s easy to put the blinders on and sprint, but when we do that we miss out on the joy of the journey. 

I want to challenge you to look at yourself today in a different light. Put down the mirror and scale and pick up a pen and piece of paper. At the top write “I Love Myself When…” and proceed to write down 5 non-body related things that you love about yourself. Then post it up somewhere you will see it every single day, maybe in your makeup bag or on the dashboard of your car so you can remember why you are truly amazing. It’s easy to get lost in the shuffle, but take a window of time just for yourself so you can recenter and regain confidence in who you were created to be. 

“It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that should make you beautiful. No, your beauty should come from inside you –the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. That beauty will never disappear and it is worth very much to God.” — 1 Peter 3:3-4

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Halloween Make Up

Happy Halloween Everyone! In honor of this holiday, I wanted to share with you my costume from this year, Poison Ivy! I won two costume contests with prizes including two bottles of wine, candy, socks, winning scratch off tickets and $200!! 

On Brock Turner 

It’s been a long time since I have written something from the heart that wasn’t a planned post or photograph. It’s been so long since I’ve been inspired. But in the wake of the ruling on Brock Turner, the rapist from Stanford University, I, as I’m sure many other survivors of sexual crime do, have something to say. 

First of all, I am deeply sickened and saddened at the leaniency withwhich the ruling on this case was handled. What you’re telling rapists everywhere is that there is only a small price to pay for drastically altering someone’s life in a horrible way. It has been six years since my assault and while I have sought counseling and have found healing, I still have flashbacks that paralyze me and can sometimes put me in a rut personally and within my current romantic relationship for weeks. 

All this talk of Brock Turner has women who have been assaulted and/or raped all over the world in flashbacks of the monstrosities that happened to them. To say that having Brock Turner serve any more time than the meager few months he was sentenced with would drastically alter his life is THE WORST REASON YOU COULD HAVE CHOSEN TO USE! Because quite frankly NO ONE except he and his family care about the outcome of his life ESPECIALLY when you have the life of this poor woman altered forever. She may be able to find healing, she may be able to move on with her life but what Brock Turner did will always remain a part of her story. 

The ruling on this case has set America back light years. We have come to a place as a nation where we have transgender bathrooms and tattoos are openly allowed in the work place but we can’t get justice for an unconscious female being forced into sexual acts with a man?! Where is the justice people? Where are the principles our country was founded on? I don’t care who Brock Turner was before he forced himself on this woman, the moment he decided to intoxicate himself and rape someone he gave up his right to the future he was making for himself. It’s something we learn as kids, all actions have consequences and you have the ability to choose how you want to act. He is now a criminal and should be treated as such. He may never do this crime again but the point is that for Jane Doe, it happened and her life will FOREVER be changed. 

Even if he was on pace to be an Olymic swimmer, that is an honor and a privelige to get to represent your country on an international level. I pray to God that America at least has enough sense about us that we don’t allow him to get to the point of representing our beautiful country in that way. 

We need to take a stand as a country and protest this ridiculousness. Sexual acts without consent is NEVER ok. Intoxication is in fact, and absolute NO NO. Why do we have to even talk about this. I don’t care about how he feels. He doesn’t deserve the pity of Americans like his family seems to think. Sign the petition to impeach the judge whose ruling over the case was way too lenient in order to not affect his swimming career. Don’t let Brock Turner Represent America in the olympics now or ever. He gave up that privilege when he chose to take advantage of an intoxicated woman. 

R&R at Ohiopyle 

How cool is it that technology allows for me to post this from my tent in the middle of the woods?! Normally, I’d be out enjoying all this gorgeousness with my family, but since it is raining and they are all sleeping I figured I’d take the time to reflect on a moment I had yesterday. 


Phoenix and I are spending the weekend camping with my brother and his girlfriend in Ohiopyle State Park. Yesterday we decided to go rafting in the Yoghiogheny River. It was the perfect day for it… Super hot and humid making the cold river water cool and refreshing. It was an 11 mile trip so we spent a lot of time just coasting and relaxing. Something I truly do not get to do often but used to so much when I was in highschool. You know, sit back relax and reflect? Adults don’t get that opportunity often but I’m so glad that we did yesterday. Between the cold water, the hot sun on my Native American skin, and the warm smell of honeysuckle floating all around yesterday I reconnected with my highschool self… Which is something I didn’t realize I needed to do. And it was amazing. 

Sometimes all you need is the river, your closest friends and the sunshine. 

Lifestyle | Starting Our Garden

Today M (my four year old male nanny kid) and I started our germination pods for our garden! It’s a super easy and super cheap way to keep your kid entertained all spring and it’s so rewarding to be able to pick and eat the fruits (or vegetables hehe) of your labor! 

I think total our start up cost was about $10.00 at WalMart. We bought a 36 pod Jiffy germination container, and 7 different types of seeds.

   
 The pods come dry and you just add water and watch them grow. M loved this part.

  
After you hydrate the pods, you have to pull the fabric out a bit from the top so you can poke holes for the seeds. 

  
Then you drop the seeds down in the holes and cover with dirt. 

  
Don’t forget to make a map of what you’re planting so you can remember what each thing is when you start to see sprouts in a few weeks! 

 Put the cover on a leave by a window that gets plenty of light, only watering when the pods start to look light brown and dry. 

Keep checking back for garden updates!